If It Isn't Love Page 4

  The truth is going to come out one day. Ingrid ignored the voice of reason as she crossed over to her son and kissed his chubby cheek, then she pulled the blanket around his body and left the room. The truth was going to come out, but not today.

  At six-thirty, Ingrid decided to go in to work. Though it was June, the morning air was still cool and Ingrid decided to walk the eight blocks to the diner. All she could do was hope and pray that Jason wouldn’t show up this morning.

  Jason had been up since six-thirty and that was something he wasn’t used to. Usually, he only saw the sun rise if he had spent the night in the studio working on an album. Since he knew he was going to eat a calorie laden breakfast of bacon, eggs, grits and buttery biscuits, he went for a five mile run. As he looked at the landscape of Elmore, he realized some big changes had happened in his sleepy hometown since he was last there. On his run, he noticed the Thomas Hart Memorial Art Gallery, three new boutiques in downtown Elmore and a revamped Downtown Hardware Store. As he crossed over the train tracks that divided the town, he entered the run down area of Elmore where he’d grown up. That part of town hadn’t changed at all. Yards in the starter homes that lined Browns Avenue were as overgrown as ever. But one thing was different. The house where he’d grown up was burned to the ground. He slowed his gait as he passed 456 Browns Avenue. The yard where his house once stood was overrun with wild weeds, shrubs that resembled trees and trash.

  Two years before Jason had gotten his record deal, he’d done everything humanly possible to stay out of Jonathan and Callie Campbell’s way. His mother Callie had been in and out of Jason’s life since he could remember. She’d leave after a beating from his father, stay gone for a few months or even a year or two, leaving Jason to face Jonathan’s drunken wrath. When she’d come back for the last time, he’d hope things would’ve been different, but they hadn’t changed at all. The fighting had escalated. But since he had been older, Jason escaped into his music and with Ingrid. Leaving for college and then going to New York had been the happiest time of his life.

  When he and Ingrid had gone off to college, he didn’t even think about his family life. Then the call had come. 456 Browns Avenue had burned to the ground and his parents were inside, dead. The arson investigators had said the fire started during a fight between the two of them and a gas can was knocked into the fire place. The house exploded and there were no survivors. Part of him had been sad about the death of his parents, they both abused alcohol as much as they’d abused each other. But he also felt as if he’d been freed. No longer did he have to worry about what his parents were doing or when he’d have to go down to the Elmore City Jail to get them out for drunk and disorderly conduct or some other charge related to alcohol.

  Since the death of the Campbells had been declared an accident, Jason was able to collect on the $20,000 life insurance policy. He’d spent more than five thousand dollars on his parents’ funeral and paid off their debts with another ten thousand dollars. The money he had left over he used to go to New York and seek a deal and jumpstart his music career. Jason had no idea that he would ever want to come back to Elmore, but right now he didn’t want to be anyplace else.

  He started running again, needing to get as far away from his troubled past as possible. By the time he made it back to the hotel, Jason was drenched in sweat and ripe for a shower. He stripped out of his running clothes and hopped underneath a warm spray. Jason hoped that by the time he got out of the shower, the breakfast rush at Soul to The Bone would be over and he’d have a chance to talk to Ingrid.

  The crowd in Soul to The Bone couldn’t stop talking about Jay Slade and his appearance in the restaurant the night before. “He looked so good,” Anna Belle Jacobs said as she stuffed her mouth with grits.

  “More coffee?” Ingrid asked the women at the table as she held a pot of the steaming liquid. She’d been forced to do waitressing duties since the place was so crowded.

  Anna Belle and her sister, Lenoir, looked up at Ingrid and smiled. “Didn’t you and Jay Slade run off to New York together?” Lenoir asked as she held up her coffee mug for a refill.

  “Was breakfast satisfactory?” Ingrid asked, ignoring Lenoir’s question.

  “Girl, I don’t know how you let him go,” Anna Belle said as she also held up her mug for a refill. “And breakfast was great. I’m going to have to start back coming here in the mornings before I go to work. Does Jay Slade come in for breakfast every day?”

  “I don’t know, I keep an eye on my regular customers, the ones who keep the money in the register,” Ingrid replied.

  “I heard he was seeing Debony Blair. Is that why y’all broke up?” Lenoir asked.

  “If you all need anything else, Dina will take care of you,” Ingrid said as she stomped away, sloshing coffee with every step. The nerve of those witches! I can’t remember the last time either of them said two words to me and now they come in here asking me personal questions about Jason? They have a nerve, Ingrid thought as she prepared another pot of coffee.

  “It’s bustling in here today,” Celina Hart-McRae said when she found an empty seat at the bar. “Are you giving food away?”

  Ingrid laughed sardonically. “They’re here hoping Jay Slade will come back.”

  “Oh, well, you know how it is. Small town boy does well and people want a piece of him.”

  “Was it like that for you when you came back?”

  Celina sucked in her bottom lip. “I just had one stalker and that was enough. Thankfully, artists don’t have the same following as singers. And speaking of artists, your son is talented for a three year old. I want you to nurture that.”

  “I will, I don’t understand where he gets it from, though.”

  Celina shrugged. “Maybe his father’s side of the family has some artists hidden on the family tree.”

  Ingrid coughed to cover her nervousness. “The usual?”

  “Actually, I want to surprise my husband with breakfast this morning, so I need the Good Morning special,” Celina said then crinkled her nose.

  “You act as if you’ve never eaten meat before,” Ingrid said with a laugh. “But, I will have Felix substitute the pork bacon for turkey bacon.”

  “You’re a doll,” Celina said as Ingrid slid her a fresh cup of coffee.

  Right after Ingrid gave the cook Celina’s order, a shout echoed throughout the restaurant. She turned toward the door and saw Jason walk in. He was dressed in a pair of well-worn blue jeans, a white tank top and a button down striped shirt. The sun seemed to beam on him, giving him a celestial look. Ingrid forced herself to look away from him, but Jason stared at her as if she was the only person in the crowded restaurant. Ingrid’s knees went weak and she nearly dropped her coffee pot. Pull it together, Ingrid. He’s just Jason. Sexy, fine, mind numbing Jason, she thought as she turned around and put the pot back on the warmer. Ingrid did everything she could to ignore Jason’s presence. She wiped the counter, she refilled everyone’s coffee cup, even the patrons who were about to check out.

  “Ingrid,” Celina said. “Are you all right?”

  “Yes, why?”

  “Because my cup is full, and you’re determined to give me more coffee.”

  Ingrid set the coffee pot down and shook her head. “He walks around here as if he owns the world. Look at all of those women throwing themselves at him. You know when we were growing up some of them wouldn’t give him a second look because he grew up on the wrong side of town. Now they look as if they want to eat him.”

  Celina shook her head. “That’s a shame,” she said. “I’m going to get out of here and take this food to Darius.” Ingrid handed her the box of food that she’d ordered.

  “Thanks for listening to me vent,” Ingrid said as Celina rose to her feet.

  “Anytime,” she said then headed out the door, pushing through the throng of people getting autographs from Jay Slade. Ingrid shot a perplexed look in the direction of the crowd. Why was he here?

  “People, can I get thro
ugh and get something to eat?” Jason yelled after signing about thirty autographs. “I’m going to be here for a while and I’ll sign everybody’s autograph.”

  “We love you, Jay Slade,” Anna Belle yelled.

  He focused his glance on her. Anna Belle had been one of his classmates in high school and she’d never been nice to the boy from the wrong side of the tracks. He shook his head but kept silent. Dina made her way through the crowd. “People,” she exclaimed, slapping her hands together. “Let this man eat before Miss Ingrid throws all of you out!”

  Most of the women groaned and whispered about how they could cook him breakfast. A few of the people standing in the doorway left and Dina led him to the counter. “Do you want a table?” she asked.

  He looked up and saw Ingrid standing across from him. “No, I’m just fine right here,” he said smiling at Ingrid. “Good morning, beautiful.”

  Ingrid pouted. “What can I get you?” she asked.

  “You on a platter,” he said with a twinkle in his eyes.

  Ingrid picked up a plastic menu sheet from the counter. “Umm, I don’t see that on the menu. Why are you here?”

  “For breakfast. I’ll take the special and a cup of coffee,” he said. “How are you this morning?”

  “Busy,” she said as she turned her back to him and called out the order to Felix.

  “Are you going to be busy tonight? I want to take you to dinner.”

  “I’m working the dinner shift tonight,” she said.

  “I can cover for you,” said Dina, who had walked over to the counter to fix coffee for a table near the back of the restaurant.

  “Dina, you covered for me last night,” she said.

  “I don’t mind,” she said with a smile at Jason. He made a mental note to give her another hundred dollar tip.

  “See,” Jason said, “now you don’t have an excuse to turn down my dinner invitation.”

  Ingrid cleared her throat. “I have a child who I spend my evenings with.”

  Jason tried to hide the wave of jealousy that washed over him. The fact that Ingrid had a child meant that someone else had made love to his woman. Someone else had the pleasure of feeling her warmth, her wetness and her passion. “Okay, so let me spring for a sitter. Don’t you think it’s time for us to reconnect?”

  Ingrid looked around the restaurant and noticed all eyes were on her and Jason. “I don’t think so. You had three years to reach out to me and you didn’t. Am I supposed to just drop my life and fling myself into your arms because you’re back in town? Why don’t you go find Debony or some of those other models you’ve been linked to on Media Take Out?”

  “You can’t believe everything you see on the Internet, Ingrid,” he said.

  She just glared at him. “Whatever.” Wiping her hands on her apron, Ingrid dashed out of the restaurant. Jason wasted no time following her.

  “Ingrid!”

  She whirled around, her eyes glazed with tears. “What do you want?” she demanded. “You made your choice three years ago and we’re not going back in time.”

  “What are you talking about?” he asked as he closed the space between them. He wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her sadness, disappointment and anger away.

  “What am I talking about?” she mimicked. “I’m talking about you and Debony and how I was just a fat girl from back home and she was the one you wanted.”

  “Ingrid, I never said that.”

  She folded her arms across her chest, pushing her breasts up and he wanted to kiss them just as he had before he’d left for his tour three years ago. “I heard you! So, don’t stand here now and pretend that you give a damn about me.”

  “I never stopped loving you and I wanted to come back and find you, but you had gotten married.”

  “So? You were with Debony.”

  “I was never with that girl! It was a marketing ploy. She was an established Def Jam star and after you left Ruby thought it would be good press.”

  “Ruby. You lost the ability to think for yourself?”

  “Ingrid, I love you, I always have and I always will. I know when we’re together it’s real.”

  “No, it isn’t,” she retorted. “Because if it was so real, you would’ve known. . .I have a restaurant to run. I’d appreciate it if you’d take your food to go and don’t come back.”

  “I can’t do that,” he said. “I’m going to be here until you realize that we belong together.”

  “You’re wasting your time because the only person I’m committed to is my son.”

  “Did you love him?” he asked, stopping Ingrid cold. “Did you love him like we loved each other?”

  Ingrid turned her back to him and headed back inside the restaurant. When Jason reentered the restaurant, Ingrid was nowhere to be found. He took his seat at the bar and waited for his breakfast. Dina walked over to him with a coffee pot in her hand.

  “Is she going to go out to dinner with you?” she asked as she refilled his cup.

  “Not tonight, but she will. Where did she go?”

  Dina shrugged. “She usually leaves after the breakfast rush and comes back for lunch.”

  Felix rang the bell, indicating an order was ready. Dina walked over to the window and grabbed Jason’s breakfast dish. She placed it in front of him and said, “Miss Ingrid comes back no later than twelve-thirty.”

  Jason reached into his pocket, peeled off two crisp one-hundred dollar bills and handed them to Dina. “What’s the lunch special for today?” he asked the beaming waitress.

  Chapter Five

  After leaving the restaurant, Ingrid drove aimlessly around Elmore. Why had she allowed Jason to get to her? Of course, he was going to say whatever to make her think he was telling the truth. But she saw the pictures and heard what he’d said about her to Debony. His words had cut her to the soul and that’s why she’d left him and returned to Elmore. Pregnant and not ready to face her mother, Ingrid had gotten off the train at six-thirty that evening, since she didn’t have the money for a rental car from the airport in Columbia. It had been a while since she’d been back in Elmore, especially since she and her mother had fallen out over her decision to move to New York with Jason. A few blocks from the train station, she’d seen Soul To The Bone for the first time. Hoisting her bag over her shoulder, Ingrid started toward the restaurant. She’d spent the entire train ride asleep or crying and hadn’t eaten anything since early that morning. Ingrid knew she couldn’t have another day like this one if she expected to have a healthy baby.

  When she’d walked into the restaurant, warmth enveloped her as well as the mouth- watering smell of southern fried chicken. Ingrid couldn’t understand why this place was empty.

  “Hey there,” the man behind the counter has said. “What can I get for you?” He smiled sweetly at Ingrid as she sat down at an empty table near the counter.

  “It doesn’t matter,” she said. Her voice had been wrapped in melancholy.

  He smiled again. “I don’t have any ‘doesn’t matter on the menu.’ Why don’t I get the special for you?”

  Ingrid nodded and blinked back her tears.

  “Hey, I was just joking,” he said as he handed her a napkin. “These days I have to laugh to keep from crying myself.”

  “Why?” she asked as she wiped her tears away.

  “I’ve been open for two months and, honey, it’s been slow.”

  “That’s because people around here are slow to change,” Ingrid said as she blew her nose.

  “I’m Louis,” he said. “This is my restaurant for now. But if I don’t get some customers soon, I’m going to be back in New York as a sous chef.”

  At the mention of New York, Ingrid burst into tears. Louis stepped from behind the counter and sat down beside Ingrid. “I’ve closed a business or two before in my life. There’s no need to cry.”

  She wiped her eyes again and Louis said, “You’re much too pretty to be blubbering this way. What’s wrong?”

  Like an ov
erturned glass of milk, Ingrid had spilled her soul. By the time she finished telling him about her experiences with Jay Slade, Louis had sworn to never buy any of his music.

  After Louis fed her a dinner of baked chicken, wild rice and collard greens, he offered her his spare bedroom until she’d decided what her next move was since she hadn’t wanted to go home. Three days later, they had decided to get married. Ingrid needed a husband and a father for her unborn child and he needed a woman to stop people from questioning the truth about his sexuality.

  Ingrid pulled into the driveway and smiled. She and Louis were the best of friends, but their marriage hadn’t been real. She knew what real love felt like and that was what she and Jason shared. Shared, the past, she thought.

  Ingrid got out of her car and entered the house. She thought she was going to be alone, but Christina was sitting on the sofa waiting for her friend. “So, how was breakfast?” she asked.

  “I’m pretty sure your little BlackBerry has been buzzing all morning,” Ingrid said as she plopped down on the love seat.

  “When are you going to stop acting like you don’t give a damn?” she asked.

  “I don’t.” Ingrid closed her eyes. “Did DeShawn get off to art camp all right?”

  “Your mother came over and took him. She wanted to go and look at Celina Hart’s latest work. I was going to leave until Anna Belle called me and told me you were outside of Soul To The Bone fussing with Jay Slade.”