If It Isn't Love Read online

Ingrid placed her finger to Jason’s lips. “Your intentions maybe good, but what happens when you have to go on the road to promote your next album or have to go one a world tour?”

  “Then you go with me. You and your little boy.”

  “What about my business? My restaurant may not be a multimillion dollar empire, but it means a lot to me. I can’t just pick up and leave because it suits you and your needs. Those days are over! And if you think anything comes before my son, you’re wrong.”

  “What’s with the anger?” Jason asked in an exasperated breath.

  Ingrid closed her eyes. She’d been angry three years ago when she learned the truth about Jason and Debony. But she’d thought time had dulled that fiery rage. Apparently not, she realized as she looked up at him. Now was her chance to release the pent up emotions she hid in the deepest and darkest parts of her mind. The disappointment of having her mother’s words being proven right; the ache of losing another man she loved and the betrayal. “You deserve it. I don’t even know why I agreed to this or why I’m even thinking about letting you in my panties. Do you know how humiliated I felt when you walked out on me that night? Did you not realize that I was trying to say something to you?”

  “I had to do a show and I thought you would be there when I got back. What were you going to tell me that you met that Louis guy?”

  “Obviously, you didn’t give a damn about what I had to say because you left! Five minutes was all I needed that night. And you wouldn’t give it to me. You walked out on me just like my father; just like you swore you wouldn’t.”

  “That’s right, I left to do my job.” Jason reached into his pocket and pulled out the ring he’d intended on giving Ingrid when he proposed. “And I returned with this and you were gone.”

  “Was I supposed to stick around when you couldn’t answer a simple question? Were you or were you not sleeping with Debony?”

  “No, I wasn’t and I didn’t while we were together,” he said.

  “Not while we were together? So, the moment I left, you hopped into bed with her?”

  Jason rose to his feet, shoving his hands in his pockets. “As if you have room to talk. As soon as you left me, you married another man and had his child. You’re not innocent, Ingrid.”

  “I’m out of here,” she snapped as she grabbed her shoes and stood up. Jason reached out for her and Ingrid whirled around, expecting to see more anger etched across his face. Instead, she saw a contrite man.

  “There’s a lot of bad water underneath our bridge. It’s stagnant, not moving forward and it can’t go backward. I want to change that because I still love you and I don’t care what happened three years ago, three days ago or three minutes ago. Can we move forward and can we try our love again?”

  “Jason,” she whispered. “I don’t know if I can. . .”

  He took her right hand in his and slipped the ring on her finger. “Please, think about it, seriously consider it. Ingrid, I’d give up the touring and everything just to have you back in my life.”

  She looked down at the ring, surprised that it fit her perfectly. Ingrid shook her head. “How can I allow you to give up your dream for me? All of those years when you were trying to make a name for yourself would be for nothing.”

  “Not for nothing, for you.”

  Tears welled up in Ingrid’s eyes, threatening to spill over as she peered at Jason. There was so much she needed to say. But she still wasn’t sure that she could trust that he wouldn’t heed the call of the entertainment world again. She knew how important it had been for him to get away from Elmore and the horrors of his youth. And then there was Debony and Ruby. She knew they were still major parts of his life. How could she see him around the sultry singer and not think about him sleeping with her all over again?

  Before Ingrid could say anything, the sky quickly turned dark and thunder boomed in the distance. “It’s going to rain, we’ve got to get out of here,” she said.

  “Can we go back to your place and finish this conversation?”

  “Umm, why don’t we go to your hotel?” The last thing Ingrid wanted was for Christina to show up with DeShawn. Though she hadn’t admitted it to her friend, Ingrid saw how much the little boy looked like his real father. She also knew that people whispered about DeShawn and how much he didn’t look like Louis. Thankfully, no one -- but Christina -- had the nerve to say something about it to her face.

  “All right,” he replied without question. Seconds later, a hard and fast rain began to fall. They dashed to their cars and Ingrid prayed that once they made it to his hotel room that she would be able to fight the urge to make love to him as she’d come so close to doing at the lake.

  The moment she walked into the hotel, Ingrid knew she and Jason wouldn’t be making love at all.

  “What the hell is she doing here?” Ingrid asked Jason as soon as she spotted Debony standing at the front desk.

  Jason wished he would’ve pressed Ingrid about going to her place instead of going back to the hotel. He knew that Ruby and Debony were staying there, but he hadn’t expected to run into them. Especially not Debony.

  “It’s not what you think,” he said in a hushed tone.

  “I’m out of here and to think I almost fell for your bullshit,” Ingrid exclaimed. Debony turned around and gave Ingrid the once over before saying, “Jay Slade, I’m glad you finally came back. Is there any place decent to eat in the sticks?” She sneered at Ingrid. “Maybe I should ask you that. You sure look as if you haven’t missed a meal.” Jason grabbed Ingrid’s hand because the shift in her body language told him that Debony was close to getting a smack in the face. “Debony, why don’t you finish your conversation with the front desk clerk?”

  She sauntered over to the couple and ran her hand against Jason’s cheek as if he were standing there alone. “I’d much rather talk to you,” she said.

  Ingrid tore her hand from Jason’s and turned toward the door. Jason pushed Debony aside and followed her. “Ingrid,” he said once he caught up with her outside.

  “What? You didn’t tell me that your friend was here? And why is she here?”

  “I meant to tell you. Ruby and Debony are here because I suggested that the record company do a talent search in Elmore. After my concert, we’re going to do a big announcement.”

  Ingrid folded her arms across her chest and glowered at Jason. “And after what I said to you at the lake, you didn’t think you should’ve told me she was here?”

  “Well, well,” Ruby said as she walked up to the couple carrying a bag of food from Soul To The Bone. “Look at this. Just like the old days."

  Ingrid looked at Ruby and saw that she was still trying to fashion herself after Beyoncé Knowles. “Jason, I’m gone,” Ingrid said, refusing to let Ruby goad her.

  “Wait,” Jason said, following Ingrid as she walked away. He reached out for her, but Ingrid sped up and got into her car without looking back or saying a word to him.

  “Damn, who knew a big girl could move that fast,” Ruby said snidely.

  Jason whirled around and faced her. “Shut the hell up and stay away from me and Ingrid or I’m out of here and the contest is off. Because if you haven’t forgotten, my contract with Def Jam has been fulfilled,” he growled.

  “This country crap was your idea. If I have to stay here and put this contest together alone. . .”

  “That’s just what’s going to happen if you or Debony step to me and Ingrid again. I know about your underhanded trick three years ago. Try something like that again and you will regret it.”

  Ruby stretched her eyes and tried to pretend she didn’t know what Jason was talking about. “Jay Slade, three years ago? That’s the past, let’s just move on and do what we have to do to make your contest a success. You’re going to need to focus on something other than Ingrid.”

  “I can conduct business and run my personal life. You don’t need to worry about what I’m doing when we’re not working out the details of the contest.”

 
; “I thought we were friends,” Ruby said with a sugary tone. “And are you forgetting that I made you?”

  “And here I thought my talent made me,” Jason snapped.

  “Image sells and I created your image and that fat. . .” He grabbed Ruby’s arm.

  “Don’t you dare say another word,” he growled. “Ingrid is more woman than you’ll ever be and I’m not going to stand here and let you insult her.”

  “Get your damned hands off me. Stand here and pretend that you’d have a career without me if you want. I know what the public wants and they don’t want to see you with a woman like Ingrid. Debony and the rumor of your relationship with her created a buzz that you couldn’t buy. Now, you want to sacrifice all of that to get another taste of home cooking. You want to be the next D’Angelo?”

  Jason dropped his hand from her arm and gave her a slight push. “Stay out of my personal business or you will regret it.” He took off for his car, hoping to find Ingrid and making things right with her.

  Ingrid cursed herself as she pulled into the parking lot of Soul To The Bone. How could she allow herself to get caught up in Jason’s web again? And to think she was ready to consider telling him the truth about why she left, her marriage and their son. But her first instincts had been dead on. Jason hadn’t changed. He was still Jay Slade and as long as he was this superstar, he couldn’t have a meaningful role in her life and he could not know DeShawn was his son.

  Ingrid climbed out of her car slowly, thinking this was not how her evening was supposed to go.

  “Miss Ingrid, what are you doing here?” Dina asked. “You look so pretty.”

  Ingrid offered her waitress a half smile. “Why don’t you go home and I’ll close up.”

  Dina looked up at the clock. “You want to be by yourself for two hours?”

  Ingrid looked around the restaurant happy to see only regular customers sitting at the bar and at two tables in the back. “I think I can handle this crowd,” she replied. “Besides, you’ve been working hard and you deserve some time to yourself.” She headed behind the counter and checked the coffee to make sure it was fresh before she refilled Damien Richardson’s cup.

  “You look like you should be on a date, not in here serving me coffee,” he said as he sipped his java.

  “Now, Damien, why are you acting as if you’ve never seen me in a dress before?”

  “Church doesn’t count, all women look good at church,” he said with a hardy laugh.

  Ingrid reached underneath the counter and pulled out an apron. “Well, I just wanted to change it up a bit.”

  Damien laughed again. “Since you’re here, I guess I’ll have another piece of cherry pie.”

  “All right,” she said as she headed for the cooler to slice Damien a piece of pie. “When your wife starts complaining about your midsection getting rounder, make sure you tell her it was your idea for the second piece of pie.”

  “You better cut me another slice, then. I’ll take it home to her. We can get round together.”

  Ingrid felt her heart shudder. She thought that she and Jason would’ve had that kind of life. She’d thought that once he made his dreams come true that he would make good on all of the promises he’d made her. But her dreams of being Mrs. Jason Campbell crashed and burned as Jay Slade rose to the top of the charts. It’s for the best. You would always have to worry about what the media would say about you and what those bloggers would write about you. Your life is now in Elmore and Jason’s life is where ever he wants to go. I’m not going to keep wondering what if. The only thing that Jason and I can have are a few rolls in the hay, if that. Now that Debony and Ruby are back, I probably won’t see him again.

  After she served Damien another slice of pie and boxed up two pieces for him and his wife, she headed to the two patrons in the back of the restaurant to refill their iced teas and coffees. When the bell dinged, signaling that someone had entered the restaurant, Ingrid didn’t have to turn around to see who it was. The woman who’s iced tea she’d just refilled nearly knocked her glass over as she howled, “It’s Jay Slade.”

  Ingrid turned around and looked past Jason as she headed behind the counter to replace the pitcher and coffee pot.

  “Ingrid,” he said as he crossed over to the counter. “Can we talk?”

  “I’m busy and I don’t know what’s left to say.”

  Dina burst through the kitchen door with her purse on her shoulder. “Miss Ingrid, do you still want me to go home?”

  “Yes, Dina, thank you,” Ingrid said.

  Dina looked from Jason to Ingrid and felt as if going home was the right thing for her to do.

  When Dina walked out the door, Ingrid shook her head, not wanting to cause a scene in front of her customers. Jason, sensing what Ingrid was doing, took a seat at the bar beside Damien.

  “Is the pie good?” he asked the older man.

  “Sure is,” he replied beaming from ear to ear. “My daughters love your music. They find it hard to believe that you grew up here.”

  “Can your girls sing?” Jason asked.

  Damien shook his head and let out a boisterous laugh. “Those girls couldn’t carry a tune if it had a handle super glued on it. Now, my niece, she can sing.”

  “You make sure she comes to the competition that’s going to start up next week,” Jason said.

  Damien nodded, “I’m going to do that.” He picked up his hat and box of pie. “Miss Ingrid, give this man some cherry pie and I’m going to see you tomorrow.” He rose from the stool and headed out the door.

  “Bye Damien,” Ingrid said with forced gaiety. Why couldn’t Jason leave too?

  “Where’s my pie?” he asked with more sensuality than the law should’ve allowed.

  Give him the pie and remember that you’re mad at him! “What do you want, Jason?” Ingrid asked quietly, noticing that her last two customers were watching her every move.

  “I want to talk to you about what happened.”

  “Nothing happened and nothing has changed. As long as those women are in your life, I won’t be.”

  “Ruby and Debony are business,” he said as he reached across the counter and stroked her arm. “You’re the one I want and need in my life.”

  “Aww,” the woman at the table exclaimed.

  Ingrid shot her an irritated look. “Do you need anything else?” she asked.

  The woman’s companion shook his head. “Miss Ingrid, we just need the check and we’ll be out of your hair.”

  “I’m not ready to go,” the woman said.

  Her date shot her a cautioning glance. “It’s getting late, Leslie.”

  “Evan.”

  “Let’s go,” he said as he stood up.

  “Fine,” she said as she followed his lead.

  Ingrid walked over to the register and took their money. She thanked them for coming to the restaurant and handed Evan his change.

  “You can keep it,” he said. “Sorry about my wife, she’s just nosy and excited that a star is in town.”

  Leslie had walked over to Jason and snapped a picture of him with her cell phone and got him to sign her napkin.

  Once the couple was gone, Jason walked over to the front door and locked the door. “Ingrid, I didn’t come back here to let you walk out of my life again.”

  “Who said I’m walking back into your life?”

  He strode over to her and crossed the counter. “I say it. When we were at the lake, I felt something and so did you.”

  “Lust, heat, both of us being horny,” she said, downplaying the truth of what she felt.

  Jason closed the sliver of space between them, then enveloped her in his arms. “You’ve never been good at hiding the truth.”

  You really don’t know me, she thought as she stared up at him. “Jason, this isn’t going anywhere.”

  “You can see into the future now?”

  “Your past precedes you.” Her voice took on a breathless tone as her heartbeat sped up. Jason’s lips were mere in
ches from hers.

  “We both made mistakes, we can either move on or continue to wonder what if. And before you say you don’t care or you don’t think about what we could’ve had, I know you do. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be trembling in my arms right now.”

  She couldn’t deny what he was saying was true, but there was no way that she’d admit it.

  “You have business to take care of and so do I,” she said.

  Jason captured her lips and kissed her with an intense passion that made her knees quiver and quake. Soft moans that sounded foreign to her ears filled the air. The moans were hers and she knew that she wouldn’t sleep tonight until she felt Jason inside of her. Until she felt his lips against her breasts and between her thighs. It didn’t matter to her that she’d been trying to talk herself out of being with Jason, all that mattered was her yearning for him.

  Ingrid pulled back from him. “Let’s get out of here.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “If we don’t leave now, I’m going to change my mind.”

  “My hotel?”

  “Hell no. We can go to my place.”

  Chapter Eight

  Jason and Ingrid hurried out of the restaurant, making sure the doors were locked and the day’s take was securely locked in the safe. She sped down the road to her house. Jason stayed close behind her, shifting the gears in his Mustang frantically. When she stopped in front of her split level brick house, Jason thought about the house he’d buy for her and their family. It would be larger than this one, he thought.

  He and Ingrid emerged from their cars simultaneously. The sexual energy between them seemed to crackle in the night air. Jason was sure that if it started raining again, steam would radiate from his body when the drops hit his skin. He was hot for Ingrid, though there was still a lot they needed to discuss. At that moment, though, the only thing he wanted to do was take Ingrid into his arms and kiss her until she melted. She looked at him with a hungry gleam in her eyes. “Let’s go inside,” she said. “Before your fans come out of the woodwork.”

  Jason tugged at Ingrid’s arm as she turned to walk up the front steps. “Is it always this quiet out here?”