If It Isn't Love Read online

  If It Isn’t Love

  Cheris Hodges

  Copyright 2011 by Cheris Hodges

  Published at Smashwords

  Chapter One

  If she heard that song on the radio one more time, Ingrid Harrington was going to scream and toss her stereo out of the restaurant. In her mind, Ingrid saw his face and lean body dancing across the stage, his loose locks swinging to the rhythm of the music. She remembered how they’d kissed and how he’d made love to her. The memories of his touch made her body tingle and her mouth water. The thought of his lips pressed against hers and his tongue dancing with hers nearly made her knees buckle. It was a shame what his voice did to her body and soul. Quickly, she snapped the radio off.

  “Ingrid, why did you turn the radio off?” Damien Richards, one of her regular customers asked as he bit into a piece of crispy fried chicken. “That song is the bomb and Jay Slade is from here.

  “I know that,” she said as she placed a freshly baked apple pie in the display case. “I guess that’s why the radio station plays that stupid song every hour on the hour.”

  She shook her head and wiped her sweaty palms on her apron. She’d remembered when Jay wrote Twisted Dreams. She was the one who suggested the chorus for the song. But did she get any credit? No! She’d just been tossed aside like discarded chicken bones.

  “You act as if you don’t like Jay,” Damien said with a mouthful of juicy chicken. As he savored the taste of Ingrid’s cooking, she turned the radio on again.

  “That was homeboy done good, Jay Slade. And guess what people, he’s coming to town to put on a show where it all began and we’re going to have an exclusive interview with our man Jay when we get back on the other side of the break,” the disc jockey announced excitedly.

  Ingrid’s knees buckled again. Jay Slade was in town? As small as Elmore, South Carolina was, she’d run into him and what if he found out the truth that she’d been hiding for more than three years?

  “Ingrid, girl, are you all right?” Damien asked when he noticed that all of the color had drained from her round, caramel-colored face. For a moment, it looked as if Ingrid was going to pass out.

  She ran her hand over her thighs and took a cleansing deep breath. “Guess I’m a little more tired than I thought,” she covered. “If Yolanda ever gets here, I can take a break.” Even when Yolanda arrived, Ingrid knew that she wasn’t going to feel any better. Just knowing that Jason was back in town had frazzled her senses.

  “You do work hard. We were surprised, but happy that you decided to keep this place open after Mr. Louis passed. How is little DeShawn dealing with it?”

  “He’s fine, misses his father but my mother and his godmother have been a huge help,” she said, her tongue burning as she spoke the half-truth. Yes, DeShawn was fine, yes, he missed Louis and yes, her family had been a great help, but his father wasn’t dead at all. Ingrid fixed herself a glass of iced tea just as the front door open and the evening waitress, Yolanda Thomas rushed inside.

  “Miss Ingrid, I am so sorry that I’m late, but I won tickets to the Jay Slade show. He’s about to be on the radio right now!” Yolanda dashed behind the counter and turned to radio up as loud as it would go. When Ingrid heard Jay’s smooth baritone travel over the airwaves, she nearly dropped her glass of tea.

  “What’s up Elmore, I’m home again and I want to celebrate with my people,” Jay Slade said excitedly. What the listeners didn’t know was that he was home for one reason and one reason only, to correct the biggest mistake that he’d ever made -- letting Ingrid Russell go.

  Despite the fact that he had a successful career, millions of dollars in the bank and his choice of women, she was all he wanted. Her love and a normal life would make him happier than every number one single in the world. Jay Slade wanted to be Jason Campbell again. He wanted to come to Elmore, head to Soul To The Bone and eat without having a camera and a microphone shoved in his face. He was about to release his final album on his Def Jam contract and he couldn’t be happier. Over the past few months, Jason Campbell, had been building his reputation as a stellar songwriter. Campbell penned Beyoncé’s current hit. He’d even written a comeback song for Michael Jackson. His greatest challenge as a songwriter was working with new artists. Def Jam had teamed him with Megan Kelly, the pop songstress who everyone had dubbed the next big thing. The gossip columns had linked Jay Slade and Megan romantically -- a rumor that the record company did little to quash. If he were the average singer, he’d milk the rumor and probably have an affair with the sexy Megan Kelly, but Jay was trying to get away from that image of him. He wanted something real, something that he and Ingrid had once shared.

  “So, Jay, tell us what’s been going on with you and what’s up with you and singer Megan Kelly?” the DJ asked making Jay cringe.

  “First, I’m going to say this, I am single as a man can be. Megan and I have been working on her new album. It’s going to be fire and not because I wrote eight songs on it.”

  “So, you’re writing for other artists now?”

  “Yeah,” he said. “I’ve always liked to put songs together and some of the stuff I write, I can’t sing. Take Beyoncé’s latest, how would those words sound coming out of my mouth? To be honest with you, I need a break from the touring and promoting, but music is still one of my first loves.”

  “One of your first loves? What’s another one?” she asked, leaning in to Jay as if he was about to reveal a secret.

  “I’m not going to get into that, but I hope I can find what I’m looking for here,” he said.

  “And now, we’re going to pay some bills and we’ll be back with more from Jay Slade and a few of his greatest hits.”

  Jay took a deep breath as the DJ played a few commercials. Radio interviews were nothing new to him, but knowing—rather hoping—that Ingrid was listening made him choose his words carefully and pray that he didn’t say something more to push her away. He wanted this interview to be over so that he could go out and find Ingrid. The last three years without her had been hard. Even though people thought he was living “the life,” walking down red carpets with ‘it’ girls on his arm; driving cars that people in Elmore had only seen in movies and videos; the one thing he wanted was the woman he’d given up three years ago at the urging of his A/R representative.

  “Are you having fun being back at home?” the DJ asked while they were off the air.

  Jay ran his fingers through his thick shoulder length, ebony locks. Some people said his locks gave him the look that Eric Benet had when he was at the height of his fame. “I’ve only been here for about three hours,” he said. “But I’m looking forward to relaxing and getting some song writing done while I’m here.”

  She nodded as she pressed some buttons on the computer to set up the next song. “Didn’t you take your old girlfriend with you when you left in the beginning?” she asked. “Are you going to look her up while you’re here?”

  “Off the record?” he asked.

  “Sure.”

  “She’s the entire reason why I’m here.”

  “Wow,” she replied. “She must be a hell of a woman.”

  Jay smiled and said silently, She is.

  “Back with Jay Slade on the number one hit music station. Jay Slade, you’ve been working with other artists and writing hits, but what’s new for you?”

  Jay cleared his throat. “I’m doing an album of covers; some of my favorite songs that I listened to growing up in Elmore. The title of the CD is If It Isn’t Love. That’s one of my favorite songs ever and it’s really special to me.”

  Ingrid marched out of the restaurant, unable to listen to another word coming out of Jason’s mouth. That New Edition song had been their song. He’d sing that song to her, changing the
words telling her that he’d never leave her. But that’s just what he did, she thought bitterly. He left me for the fame and fortune. The day in New York, when things started going badly, was burned into her subconscious and haunted her.

  Jason had just started his promotional tour for his first album and the record company had put them up in the Marriott Marquis because his first performance would be in Times Square. Ingrid had walked into the room and her mouth dropped. It was luxurious and bigger than her mother’s house in Elmore.

  “I can’t believe this,” she’d said excitedly as Jason encircled her waist. “This is a palace.”

  “And this is only the beginning,” he’d said. “People are going to love my music and we’re going to be staying in places like this all the time. Then we’re going to get our own house and it’s going to make this place look like a shack in the woods.”

  Ingrid had leaned against him and they swayed back and forth while he’d hummed Twisted Dreams. Jason kissed her on the neck. “I love you so much.”

  “Me too,” she’d replied then turned around to face him. “I have to tell you something.”

  Before she’d been able to say another word, the door opened. “Hey, hey,” Ruby Miller, the A/R representative said as she walked into the room as if it were hers. Ingrid hated that woman. She didn’t have any respect for Jason’s private life and she made it clear that she wasn’t a big fan of Ingrid either. Ingrid shot an angry glance in Ruby’s direction as Jason dropped his arms.

  “You could’ve knocked,” he said.

  “Well,” Ruby said, “you have to get downstairs for sound check and I wanted to make sure Ingrid was settled in. I’m here for you guys.” The fake smile on Ruby’s lips may have put Jason at ease, but Ingrid hadn’t trusted her and didn’t believe for one second that she gave a damn about how she was settling in to the hotel room.

  Jason gave Ingrid a quick kiss before dashing out of the room for his sound check. When Ingrid and Ruby were left in the room alone, the smile vanished from Ruby’s face.

  “We need to talk,” she said, motioning for Ingrid to sit down.

  “Talk? I have to get ready for the show,” Ingrid replied.

  “Actually, you don’t. Jason, or Jay Slade, as he’s going to be known as from now on needs to be free to explore his career.”

  Ingrid folded her arms across her ample bosom. “Jason is free to do whatever he needs to do. I have never stood in his way.”

  Ruby waved her hand in the air as if she were swatting annoying gnats. “That was fine in Hicksville, South Carolina. But this is the big time. Have you looked at your man? He’s going to be a sex symbol like Usher; he has a voice that rivals Teddy Pendergrass. Every woman in the world is going to want him.”

  Cocking her head to the side, Ingrid glared at Ruby. On the tip of her tongue was an ugly word she’d never used before. Instead of saying it, she swallowed it and mumbled a prayer for the strength not the snatch the blonde weave out of that butt pad wearing Beyoncé Knowles wanna-be’s head.

  “Jay Slade is mine to create. I’m making an image for him and you just don’t fit it. Can you imagine how you two are going to look walking down the red carpet together? He’s a physical specimen and you look as if you really love fried chicken and biscuits.”

  A chill ran up Ingrid’s spine. She’d never been a skinny girl and she was fine with that. Jason never seemed to mind it when they were in Elmore. Don’t be silly, this is Ruby talking not Jason. Jason loves you and he’s going to tell her where she can go with this rubbish.

  “Ruby, I think you should leave before I slap the blonde out of your wig,” Ingrid snapped. “I don’t give a damn what you think about me, Jason and I love each other and you can just go find another relationship to try and ruin.”

  Ruby shook her head in disgust. “Jay Slade wants to be a star and I can guarantee you that he’s going to choose stardom over this relationship that you think is so strong.” She stormed out of the room and Ingrid plopped down on the soft king sized bed. Ingrid ran her hand across her thick waist. For the most part, she was happy with her size fourteen figure. There had been times when she thought about losing weight to look like the models in magazines, but she was healthy and active. Starving herself to make someone else happy wasn’t in her DNA. Besides, Jason had never said anything about her losing weight or that she was standing in the way of his fame.

  I’m not going to become some damn anorexic because Ruby thinks I don’t fit Jason’s image! We love each other and that’s all that matters, Ingrid thought as she’d rushed into the bathroom to get ready for Jason’s first big show. He’d already given her an all access pass and she was glad of it because she knew that Ruby wouldn’t have given her one.

  About an hour later, Ingrid was dressed in a pair of black jeans and yellow silk blouse with her pass around her neck. She’s brushed her hair back in a sleek ponytail and dusted a bit of foundation on her caramel face. She smoothed a bit of lip gloss on her full lips and smiled at her reflection in the mirror. “To hell with Ruby, I look good.”

  With that, Ingrid headed out to Times Square to join Jason as he’d prepared to take the stage for his show. She had been so excited that his dreams were coming true. All his life he’d wanted to sing, ever since his first solo at Elmore Baptist Church. It had pained Ingrid that no one, not even Jason’s father, had believed in him. When Jason had decided to follow his dream and dropped out of school at The University of South Carolina, his dad tossed him out of the house. Ingrid had taken the semester off to travel with Jason and if he’d decided to move to New York, she’d planned to transfer so that they could begin their life together. Smiling, she walked through the crowded staging area, proudly flashing her pass to the security guard. Her smile fell from her lips when she’d spotted Jason with his arm around R&B singer Debony Blair. A photographer snapped pictures of the couple and reporters mulled around them with recorders and microphones. “Are you two dating?” a reporter called out.

  “No,” Jason said.

  Debony winked at the reporter. “We’re just making beautiful music together, for now,” she replied.

  Ingrid seethed with anger. Who did she think she was? Jason was her man and this Debony chick was flirting with him for all of the media to see. And to make matters worse, Jason had simply smiled as she kissed him on his neck while the flashbulbs went off.

  “I told you,” Ruby said as she walked up behind Ingrid.

  “Ruby, get away from me,” Ingrid said as she swallowed down her anger and disappointment.

  Ruby smiled as she walked away from Ingrid and over to Jason and Debony. Ingrid followed when she saw Debony and Ruby walk away. “What was that?” she asked.

  “Publicity shots,” he said, giving her a quick hug. “Ruby told me that attaching myself to Debony would help with record sales.”

  “Debony looked like she wanted to be attached to more than your music.” Ingrid poked her lip out and shook her head.

  Jason spun her around and kissed her on the forehead. “I don’t care what she wants. You’re all I need and want.”

  Why hadn’t she taken in the warning signs? Ingrid questioned as her thoughts returned to the present.

  “Ingrid!” Christina Kyle called from across the parking lot. “I know you heard him on the radio.”

  “Where’s my son?” Ingrid asked. Looking at her best friend, a short spit fire with short auburn hair and petite figure, the last thing she wanted was to hear about Jason from her. Christina knew her history with him and thought the two of them belonged together.

  “In the car,” she said pointing toward her black Honda Accord. “He was at Celina Hart’s art class today and he made you something special. But he wants to take it home and surprise you.”

  “You have a key and you’re about three blocks from my house,” Ingrid said. “I know you didn’t come here just to ask me if I heard Jason on the radio.”

  Christina patted her hip, “I sure did and I was just wondering if
you’re going to come clean.”

  “What?” Ingrid asked.

  “DeShawn reminds me of Jason when we were little.”

  Ingrid rolled her eyes. Since the day her son was born, Christina had questioned Ingrid about the true paternity of her son.

  “I know that Louis Harrington isn’t this boy’s father,” she’d said a mere hour after DeShawn was born.

  “I’m so tired, please don’t do this to me,” Ingrid had replied in a soft voice.

  “Then tell me the truth.”

  Ingrid had closed her eyes, unwilling to admit the truth to her best friend. She had no intentions to tell anyone that DeShawn Harrington was Jason Campbell’s son. Ingrid had been side stepping the question of DeShawn’s paternity since he was born. The older he got, the more he looked like Jason. She had to keep them apart or the truth would be out. Who was she fooling? It wasn’t as if Jason cared about her. Three years had passed and she hadn’t heard one word from him. She’d seen his star rise in magazines and on MTV and BET. Jason hadn’t even reached out to her to see how she’d been since that day. The day she told him to make a choice and he chose his career, without even looking back or noticing that Ingrid’s expanding waist had nothing to do with their late night meals at fancy restaurants on the road or the greasy take out on the tour bus. She’d tried to tell him that she was pregnant, but as his first single began to climb the charts, Jason had become Jay Slade and didn’t have time for her.

  “Ingrid,” Christina snapped, bringing her friend back to reality. “What are you going to do when you run into Jason?”

  “That’s not going to happen. Please take my son home,” Ingrid said as she walked over to Christina’s car to look in on DeShawn. He was lying in the backseat sleeping soundly.

  “Are you bringing something home for dinner? Chicken, perhaps?” Christina asked.

  “If that’s your way of inviting yourself over for dinner, today’s special was meatloaf, mashed potatoes and cabbage,” she said.